


To all the stars that are listening

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dick Grayson Has Issues, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, Jason Todd Has Issues, M/M, Reconciliation, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29989140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Dick reached out for Jason and Jason pushed him away, just as he deserved.After that, no matter how hard he tried to see Jason to clear up the misunderstanding, the younger refused to see him. They went their separate ways with Dick believing that all he needed to do was give Jason some space. They had all the time in the world to reconcile. All the time in the world to find a middle ground.And then, Jason died.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 9
Kudos: 117





	To all the stars that are listening

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bitterleafs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterleafs/gifts).



> Song: Clarity by Zedd

Dick’s life had been anything but ordinary since he was a child. As someone who grew up in the circus, his morning was spent studying with the other kids that travelled with his troupe while in the afternoon, he practiced with his heart and soul to fly as beautifully as his parents. In the nights, he’d stand on the sidelines and watch them perform, absolutely awed by the way their bodies moved, each twist, each turn so seamless, every difficult stunt seemed easy in their skin. Clinging onto the edge of the tent, he wished with all his heart that someday, he could be just like them. A bird freed.   
  


With every wish, his voice grew louder and louder until somewhere, up above, a star heard his cry. It heard his desire to be free. The chains that grounded him slowly slipped away and he flew with practiced grace. And just as Dick spread his wings, his parents fell. Birds flightless.  
  


Freedom he had asked for and freedom he had received.  
  


Now, standing in the watchtower with everyone counting down for the New Year, he stared at the very stars that had granted him his wish in the worst way possible. They seemed so close that sometimes he wondered that if he reached out his hand, would he be able to touch them? But the thought always disappeared from his mind when he remembered that no matter how hard he tried, he could never get back everything they had stolen.  
  


So, instead, year after year, Dick took the time to mourn everything he had lost and everything he would lose.  
  


“I heard Nightwing was spotted in Gotham last week,” Bruce said as he stepped up beside Dick, his voice even. “You didn’t come by the manor."  
  


_ You came into my city without my permission.  _ Even if Bruce didn’t really say the words, his intent was clear. While Dick was always welcome in Gotham to visit his family, he wasn’t welcome in the city as a vigilante that wasn’t under Batman’s control. When it came to the city, he was held to the same standards as the other members of the Justice League, allowed inside only if Bruce explicitly asked for help which rarely happened. But then again, it wasn’t like Dick was an official member of the League. Despite their countless offers, he had always refused, once because he wanted to look after the ever growing Young Justice team and now because he didn’t feel like he belonged with anybody.   
  


With his grip tightening on his champagne flute, Dick kept his gaze fixed on the stars as a slow smile spread across his face. He never refuted Bruce’s statement. He just shrugged, letting the older man interpret what he meant.   
  


Seeing that he wasn’t going to get a response, Bruce sighed.   
  
“You have to let him go,” he said, his voice dipping lower. “He is not the person you once used to know. You don’t know where he’s been over the past years or what he’s done. This wild chase you’re on will only end up with you getting hurt.”   
  


Dick felt his body stiffen as Bruce started speaking, the tension in his shoulders making it hard for him to keep smiling, to keep pretending that everything was alright. He knew that Bruce only wanted the best for him. He was as tired of seeing Dick get hurt as Dick was of getting hurt. But his never-changing moral compass that couldn’t bend for anyone at all clouded his judgement. It stopped him from seeing the big picture. It stopped him from seeing the lines of grief and pain splattered onto a canvas that could change someone’s painting.   
  


Taking in a deep breath, he glanced at Bruce and smiled.   
  


“You don’t have to worry about me, B,” he said, patting the older’s shoulder. “I already know that looking for Jason is hopeless so I gave up a while ago.”   
  


And while he had practiced these words, his smile, the style delivery, in front of the man who had taught him everything he knew, Dick could only hope that his lie would pass.   
  


“I never stop worrying about you kids,” Bruce said as sighed, knowing very well that Dick wasn’t even close to giving up.   
  


No one knew better than him how stubborn Dick could be when he set his mind on something. But he didn’t push the conversation any further, knowing very well that there was nothing he could say to stop Dick. All he could do was hope that things didn’t spiral out of control.   
  


As the clock struck 12 and the new year arrived, everyone cheered. Dick smiled freely for the first time in the night.   
  


“Happy new year, B,” he said, holding up his flute.  
  


“Happy new year, Dick.” Bruce hoped that this wouldn’t be the last new year he got to see his son smile, afraid that once he reached his destination, he’d shatter into so many pieces that nothing could put him back together again.   
  


* * *

  
No matter how hard he tried, Dick could never come to love the Gotham skies under which he had spent the better half of his life. The night was the only time when he could fly and whenever he did, smoke obscured his view of the stars, turning their beautiful striking light into muddied dots spread across a black sheet. The moon exuded its glow like it was melting under the touch of the pollution generated by the city, turning into a puddle that was waiting to rain down one day.   
  
Whenever he dreamed of moving to a new place, of seeing the world and finding a place where he belonged, he imagined living under a clear sky. The kind of sky where he could stare back at the stars as they stared at him.   
  


But in the end, he had ended up moving to Bludhaven which was just as bad as Gotham, if not worse.   
  


With a takeout bag in his hand, Nightwing made his way from one roof to another until he reached his destination. Going down the service stairs, he found the person he had been looking for. Over the years, the Red Hood had seen many custom changes, some interesting, others a little regrettable (Not that Dick ever minded them because he always welcomed the chance to remind Jason of his questionable fashion taste to embarrass him.  _ Really, Jay? The fact that your helmet looked like a red dildo never crossed your mind? _ ). As of now, Jason had settled on a design that made Dick want to take a step back and just… admire. Even if he claimed that the idea wasn’t to show off his muscles, Dick had to disagree.   
  


Jason’s once beloved leather jacket had now been replaced with a red sleeveless hoodie that sat atop a black shirt that clung to his chest in all the right ways. Dick couldn’t see how practical the red bandages that covered his exposed arms were but what he did know was that they really did show off his muscles really well. Then, there were those pants that let everyone know that it was a crime to not appreciate Jason’s thighs. While it wasn’t the most practical suit, it did make him feel all kinds of things. Then again, Dick was never one to talk about practicality, not with his discowing era.   
  


“If you stare anymore, I’m gonna have to charge ya,” Jason said, binoculars over his eyes as he continued to keep track of his target.   
  


“Good thing I come bearing presents then.” Dick smiled as he sat down next to Jason and held out the bag. “Chilli dogs. Just the way you like ‘em.”   
  


Glancing at the bag, Jason eyed them for a while, probably trying to figure out what Dick’s true motive was. Even though Dick had spent so many nights just sitting beside without saying a word, Jason always expected something more. Information. Empty promises. Another lecture about how he had strayed off the right path. Just another nail in the coffin that carried who he once used to be. Just a few words to let him know that the only ones who cared about him were the people who were tired of his existence tarnishing their reputation.   
  


And Dick knew all of this because he could hear Jason’s thoughts, loud as day, ringing inside his head. Every bit of anger, every bit of pain seeping into his skin like it was his own. But there was nothing he could say to chase those doubts away, to make Jason see that the only thing he wanted was him and nothing else.   
  


Once he had decided that accepting the offering couldn’t hurt, Jason tossed the binoculars to Dick before digging in. Following the direction that Jason had been spying in, Dick watched carefully as a man in his late forties, dressed in an worn out suit, went over files after files, a job that seemed rather simple on the surface but that wasn’t the case if someone dug deeper. Having recently established himself in Bludhaven, Haris David had been involved in all kinds of dealings, the kind that had caught the attention of the Red Hood.   
  


Which is why, for the first time in months, Dick had come to see Jason because there was something he needed. After spending so much time gathering evidence and building a case, he had assembled a team to take down the operation from growing any further. According to the plan, they were going to strike soon. Everything was in place until Dick learned that the Red Hood was in town which only meant one thing.   
  


As Dick kept an eye on the target, he almost shuddered as he felt a sudden rush of heat fill his bones and spread through his entire being.. A sigh escaped his lips as he felt whole for the first time in months. Whenever Jason was gone, whenever the connection between them was blocked off, all Dick could ever feel was an everlasting cold. It was the lingering kind that settled in the empty spaces of his soul, making his emptiness even stronger.  
  


Meanwhile, Jason’s eyebrows scrunched together as his lips pulled into a frown while he listened to the thoughts that were ringing in the air all around him. He had practiced for years to ignore everything Dick said and everything he felt, during moments when it really mattered, he let him in, even if it was for a few moments.   
  


“And you really think that your little team will be able to handle this properly?” Jason asked, his tongue slowly peeking out to lick the corner of his lips.  
  


“They know what they’re doing,” Dick assured, keeping his own emotions in check. If his heart beat too loud, if his thoughts strayed, Jason would cut off their connection and flee the way he always did.   
  


Jason thought about what Dick said for a while before his own thoughts turned more agreeable. Gathering the leftover packages so he could dispose of them properly, he got up and glanced at Dick one last time before leaving.   
  


_ See you tomorrow.  _ Those were the only three words that Dick had a chance to hear before the connection between them was cut off, taking away the heat that warmed his soul. And just like that, Dick was empty again, a glass of nothing waiting to be filled temporarily. 

* * *

When Dick was a child, his mother often told him about how in the beginning, man and woman were the same entity. A being with two head, four arms and four legs, intertwined together to create the perfect creature. But unfortunately, it was this very perfection that scared the gods so much that one day, they decided that humans had to be stopped before they found a way to usurp the power of heaven itself. 

Thus the perfect creature was split apart. Two pieces of the same puzzle left to suffer until they found one another. Divided, they would forever be haunted by a strange emptiness that couldn’t be replaced by anything. No love would ever compare. No relationship could withstand the cold that plagued our bodies. It was only when a human was united with their other half could they be at peace. And even then, that reunion could never be enough because at the end of the day, they could never be that perfect being again.  
  


After listening to his mother’s story over and over, Dick always wondered what it would be like to find his other half. While a part of him was excited, another part of him was scared because meeting his fated one meant being tied down to someone he didn’t know. Someone who could potentially turn out to be the worst person in the world. What if they wanted to control him? Change him until he fit into a box of all the things that society accepted? What if they took away his wings so he could never fly? While having a soulmate was a magical thing, at the same time, it was terrifying.   
  


And for Dick who had only ever wished for freedom, the stars took away his fear by taking away his soulmate.   
  


In the beginning, Dick had never made an effort to actually know Jason. After all, he was the boy that had replaced him. The one who had stolen his name and his colors without ever knowing the significance behind them, the memories attached to them. It was true that Jason wasn’t to blame for Bruce’s decision but Dick always found it hard to see him as Robin, found it hard to conceal his anger and the pain that burst through his already weak seams. Little did he know back then that Jason felt every bit of his emotions, his agony consuming the younger whole.   
  


Jason never said a word, pretending to smile and laugh whenever Dick was around. Pretending that when he was alone, he wasn’t crying over the fact that his soul mate would never come to love him. He’d be empty forever, forced to feel the cold until he took his last breath. And Dick, who lived in another city, couldn’t hear the tears that Jason shed.  
  


It was during their vacation to the ski lodge when Jason slipped, letting his guard down as they started an impromptu snowball fight. By now, their relationship was steady. They had almost become friends. So, as the walls around Jason’s heart fell away, as the moment carried him away, Dick felt a burst of warmth inside of him, so sudden and so breathtaking that it made him want to cry. But with the warmth came Jason’s panic, his thoughts that screamed at him for making such a careless mistake.   
  


He had known all this time and he hadn’t said a word. He had known all this time and he believed that Dick hated him.   
  


Dick reached out for Jason and Jason pushed him away, just as he deserved.   
  


After that, no matter how hard he tried to see Jason to clear up the misunderstanding, the younger refused to see him. They went their separate ways with Dick believing that all he needed to do was give Jason some space.  
  


They had all the time in the world to reconcile. All the time in the world to find a middle ground.  
  


And then, Jason died. 

* * *

_ Everyone in position? _ Dick asked through the link that M’gaan had established for the team..   
  


When he first started, all Haris did was distribute a new drug in the market, something a little stronger than what was already available. Dick’s first thought was to take him down then and there but he held back, needing to know who his suppliers were. But even though he was yet to uncover the identity of the person who was responsible for this operation starting up in Bludhaven, Haris couldn’t be allowed to walk free anymore. Not when he had expanded his business to children. Which is why, taking him down tonight as he made a new deal was so important.   
  


_ Just waiting for your signal  _ came Artemis’s response.   
  


Settling down, Dick watched carefully as cars pulled in front of a warehouse. When the doors opened, the first to step out were men armed with guns, ten guards in total. Then came Haris followed by the man he was dealing with. The moment he came into sight, Dick felt a burst of anxiety, a strange restlessness that made him want to jump right into action, layered with anger. All emotions that were foreign to him. Beside him, he noticed the way Jason had tensed up and even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea, Dick reached out to brush their hands together, to let them fingers intertwine. Jason would pull away, no doubt. But at least he’d be distracted.   
  


Strangely enough though, Jason didn’t snap at him. Instead, he squeezed Dick’s hand as if that was the only thing keeping him grounded, the only thing that stopped his emotions from running wild.   
  


_ There’s no one else in sight  _ M’gaan informed.   
  


All the players were here and there would be no reinforcements. Miss Martian had made sure of that. If something were to leave her sight, Superboy and Robin were there to take care of them. Dick had somehow assembled most of the original team.   
  


_ Alright, alpha team, let’s go  _ he ordered, falling back into his role as the leader of the team, something that he hadn’t been in years.   
  
  
_ Anything for you Beyonce!  _ Wally sang and then in a ‘flash’ he disarmed two of the guards.   
  


As soon as he made his move, almost predicting his moves, Tigress started launching her arrows. Seeing his team in action, Dick couldn’t but smile, reminded of simpler times when the world didn’t seem all that hopeless. But now wasn’t the time to lose himself to nostalgia.   
  


Giving Jason’s hand one last squeeze, Nightwing grappled down to where the fight was, expertly maneuvering his way towards Haris. No matter what, he wouldn’t allow Haris to slip by and go into hiding. It was now or never. As if understanding his intent, knowing that if he wanted to survive he needed to escape the heroes that had taken down most of his crew, Haris started backing towards the warehouse. Dick knew exactly what he was attempting to do.   
  


And what he knew, Jason did too, his anger bubbling over.   
  


With his attention divided, Dick followed after Haris while also keeping an eye on Jason who shot one non-lethal round after another into the guards who dared to stand in his way. He had a goal now and nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted.   
  


Gripping one of his escrima sticks, when he found his chance, taking aim, he threw one of them straight at Haris, catching him in the back. The hit was enough to make the man stumble over, the fear evident on his back as he looked back but not at Nightwing. His eyes were on the Red Hood who had managed to corner him, his crowbar in his hands.   
  


_ Go!  _ Wally zoomed past Dick, clearing a path for him.   
  


Thankful to the red-head, Dick made his way to where Jason was, now feeling every bit of his emotions as his fury broke through every defense.   
  


“Hood,” he called out.  _ Jason.  
  
_

Hearing his voice in his head, Jason glanced back at Dick, brows furrowed together.   
  


_ Don’t.   
  
_

As the two of them stared at one another, there was only one way this could play out. Dick could preach to Jason, explain in detail how once the police arrived, Haris and his men would go to jail for life. He would make sure of that. Jason would back off. The feeling of betrayal would remain, not because Dick had taken the kill away from him but because he didn’t trust Jason.   
  


And Dick was tired of letting Jason down, tired of seeing him walk away.  
  


_ I trust you.   
  
_

It was a simple thing to say but not a simple one to make others believe. So Dick did the only thing he could. He let Jason feel him, every breath, every thought, each drop of every feeling that made him who he was. Maybe, just maybe, in the depths of it all, he’d see that he believed in the person that Jason was, the person he could be. He’d see that Dick had loved him for years and nothing could ever change that.   
  


There was a moment when Jason didn’t breathe, a moment where his gaze was fixed on Dick, seeing him and nothing else. Then he looked away, his hand lowering as he did.   
  


“You’re an idiot,” he said before stepping away from Haris.   
  


Dick’s hand reached out for him and then the sirens started, signalling the arrival of the BPD. Whatever he could have said, whatever this moment could have led into, all of that had to wait. After all, both of them had a job to do.   
  


Without even looking back, Jason took out his grappling gun and soon, he was out of sight, out of reach. But Dick couldn’t chase after him. There was still a lot left to do before the night was over. Clenching his fists, he looked away from the direction in which Jason had left, knowing the longer he waited, the more he’d want to be with his soulmate, a wish that simply couldn’t come true no matter how much he tried. The stars had already granted him one desire, even if it had eventually led to his ruin. There was nothing more they could give him.   
  


Turning to the police cars that were pulling up, all Dick could do was lose himself to his work. At least that would numb the pain, even temporarily. 

* * *

  
  


The night had almost come to an end by the time Dick got back to his apartment. After sorting out all the details with the police, he had said goodbye to his friends, offering to let them crash at his place since it was getting late. But Wally had work in the morning and M’gaan couldn’t stay away from the team for too long. Everyone had too much going in their lives to just take a break and while they made promises to meet up, Dick knew that the only time they could do so was when another mission came by.   
  


Exhausted, he slipped in through the window facing an alley when his body stiffened. There was someone in his apartment. But the anxiety that had him reaching for his escrima sticks was soon pushed away as a familiar warmth took over him, its gentle touch enough to let him know that the person inside was a friend. An unexpected guest.   
  


Slowly, as he collected his thoughts, Dick made his way to the living room where Jason was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands.   
  


“What are you--- what are you trying to do?” he asked, his voice shaking.   
  
  
As his brows furrowed, Dick looked at Jason with confusion, not understanding exactly what he was trying to get at, especially now that their connection had been cut-off once again.  
  


Like an animal backed into a corner, Jason stared at Dick. He had been pushed to his limit, pushed to think about things he’d rather ignore, relationships that could never be.   
  


“Why won’t you leave me alone?” he finally asked, his voice barely a whisper, so fragile that it broke Dick’s heart.   
  


Dick’s fingers curled into fists as he stared at the ground. It seemed that his desire to be with the one he loved had turned toxic to the point that it was now hurting Jason. He never wanted that to happen. Whenever he approached Jason, it was just because he wanted those little moments that he could call theirs, moments where they could be around one another without any worries. Just for a little bit. Yet all he had been doing was pushing Jason closer and closer to the edge.  
  


“I just--- I love you,” he finally said, as if that one response was enough to justify his actions. But those words were all he had.   
  


“No! You don’t!” Jason suddenly screamed, his outburst bringing back their connection.  
  


There Dick stood as Jason’s insecurities rained down on him, thoughts that had him gasping for air. All these years, Jason had believed that the only reason why Dick wanted to be around him was because he wanted to feel complete. Whatever feelings he had, they were born out of necessity. Not love.  
  


“I do!” Dick fought back, his fingers reaching out for Jason but as the younger flinched away, he let his hand drop. “I do,” he repeated, hoping his words would get through.  
  


“How can I believe you?” Jason asked. “Even if you do love me, isn’t it just because I’m your soulmate?”  
  


“Because, even if I was destined to be with someone else, you’d still be the one I love,” Dick answered, honestly. He once again held out his hand. “I love you because you’re funny and caring and silly. I love you because you see right through my shit and never think twice before calling me out. I love you because when I’m with you, I don’t have to pretend. It’s just… you. That’s reason enough.”   
  


Dick watched as Jason’s hands trembled on his side, as his lips quivered and his eyes darted around, looking for escape. For a moment, he even thought that he would run. There’s no way he would stay. But then, Jason held out his hand. An opportunity, maybe even the last one for them to finally know what they felt for one another.   
  


Carefully, Dick took Jason’s hand in his and closed his eyes as a wave of emotions crashed down on him, feelings that had been sealed behind a dam for years. He felt the love Jason had for him when they first met, even before he knew they were soulmates. The admiration, the envy and the absolute confusion because at that time, he didn’t know how to handle his feelings. He felt the love that Jason had when he came back to Gotham after surviving the Lazarus Pit. It was an all consuming love, the kind that he had to learn to control so he could breathe, the kind of love that was laced with unbridled anger and heartache at knowing that he had been replaced. Then he felt the love that Jason had after things between him and the family had calmed down. The kind of love that lingered in the air and closed his throat. The kind of love that made his heart skip a beat and made him trip over his words. Every single emotion, every single thought burned inside Dick, bringing him to tears because he had been so sure he had lost his chance. So sure that Jason could only hate him now.   
  


“Jay,  _ Jay… _ ” he called out as his eyes opened, reaching to cup Jason’s face, to wipe away from the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry. Because of me--- this is all--” he tried to speak, to find a way to repent for his mistakes but Jason just shook his head.   
  


“I know-- I know what you were going through-- I just wish--” he took in a deep breath before leaning his head against Dick’s. “None of that matters--- what matters is now-- this.”  
  


“You’ll give me another chance?’ Dick asked and for a moment, Jason said nothing.   
  


Then, he nodded, his lips pulling into a crooked smile.   
  


“Be warned though, I’m like a cat. I spook easy,” he joked even though his eyes were watery.   
  


“I’ll make sure to be extra careful.” Dick smiled brightly.   
  


This was the chance he had been waiting and hoping for all these years. But that didn’t mean a happy ending was set in stone. The future was uncertain and come tomorrow, they could fall apart again. They were trying though and right now, that was all that mattered. One step together to maybe a million more. Worries about what was to come could wait.  
  


As Jason leaned down to kiss him, the warmth of his touch and the softness of his lips were the only things he wanted to feel.    
  


It seemed that maybe the stars had heard him after all.

**Author's Note:**

> CROOOOW HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!   
> I'm sorry it took me a bit to post this fic but I just wanted it to be good for you. And yes as promised, there is a second part! I love you so so much. Thank you for being my friend and being the amazing person that you are.


End file.
